Girls, straight to your door
in thirty minutes or less.
Got to be worth it.

Flop, call, now the turn.
Raise, the river, I’m all in.
…a flush beats a straight?

Forty to get in,
drinks thirteen dollars a piece.
Clubs used to be cheap….

One minute, kind Sir.
Listen to my sob story,
just need some spare change.

Slots, one cent per line,
megabucks pays back millions.
How come I’m not rich?

The slogan is true:
What happens in Vegas, stays.
Mainly your money.

I’m just a tourist,
spending my life’s savings here.
A swift bankruptcy.

OJ’s in trouble
Breaks into hotel room, yells:
“This is a stick-up!”

That dude’s got my stuff!
Let’s go get it back. With guns.
How could this go wrong?

Monte Carlo Burns. Well, not the real Monte Carlo in Monaco. Just like Vegas’ Venice is not in Italy and its Rio is not in Brazil, the Monte Carlo is a local hotel and the roof caught fire the other day. Little Mood Music:

Ahem:

Welders on the roof
Oops, what could have caused this fire?
Don’t have a clue — (cough)

Kirsten Haglund is Miss America 2008.

Roses, crown and tears,
Planet Hollywood crowns new
Miss America

Everyone comes here
All of us have adventures
Tell us about it

This place kicks some ass!
Hookers are legal out here
Why does my dick burn?

Strippers are so cool
I think she really likes me
Hey! where’s my wallet?

Glaring nine and seven
Dealer showing a face up
Does twenty six win?